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The Many Saints of Newark (2021) Movie Review

Image (c) HBO Max & IMDB for review purposes only.

The Many Saints of Newark (2021) Movie Review

First of all Ray Liotta looks like shit. Sorry Ray. Being a fellow goomba, I can say that. Secondly, you mafia guys being so badass and secretly running the show is such a tired trope – way past prime. Ok, we get it, we know that you could make or break (or kill) a president, and that Hollywood was basically built by people like you and we know that these movies are all in fact real stories. But Hollywood is a tired trope of its own. In case you hadn’t figured it out, China is the new mafia in town. And that’s pretty much ok, because nobody gives a fuck about Hollywood anymore anyway. The only people still watching Hollywood’s feeble attempts at relevancy are party apparatchiks, propaganda peons and basement dwelling Netflix nerds. If your industry wasn’t getting yet another government bailout, you’d basically be toast. HBO Max, Netflix, Disney + and all other sundry streaming coalitions are all that’s left, and we’re talking chicken bones here. When inflation finally hits and the Fed raises interest rates and the stock market crashes, all that will be left for you is to give your streaming services away for free just to keep the subscriber count up.

The weak-kneed woke attempt at mythologizing the ‘plight’ of black gangsters moving in on mafia turf is fairly laughable. It would have been much more accurate to show how the Black Panthers were instead being funded and organized by the Soviet Communist Party. But that would have meant breaking the glass ceiling of false historical revisionism that you folks are so busy crafting. 

To anyone who still thinks going to see a movie is a good way to spend your money, avoid this concoction like the buffet at Luby’s. In fact, just give your wad of cash to the first homeless person you see and you will feel better for it and have less indigestion. Also, look into Keto. You’re too fat.

God bless America.


Box Office: Gross US & Canada $8,237,403

Opening weekend US & Canada $4,651,571

Gross worldwide $12,737,403 (info: IMDB.com)
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Neo Yokio is Vaporwave.

or why I like Neo Yokio ( and positively hate Rick & Morty. )


Beau Tardy. Saturday, September 30, 2017.

America is a very literal country. We say what we mean and we do what we say. Our founding fathers were all men of letters, even newspapermen, all very well read. Our constitution is written on a piece of paper by these same men. The very privilege to write anything and everything is enshrined in our first amendment. We are a country run by writers, whether they be writers of laws, of contracts, of screenplays or of checks. The writers literally run the show. Until now.

The writing on Neo Yokio is the polar opposite of the pedantic, heavy handed, supercilious Rick & Morty whose editorial board is essentially reddit.com. Please deliver us from these sanctimonious, college essay driven writing stylings of today’s bloggers cum screenwriters who populate new media bullpens.

Neo Yokio is refreshingly superficial, light and breezy like a menthol cigarette or a diet 7 up. It’s style is tongue and cheek, self effacing, unpretentious and full of 1990s anime cliches. Neo Yokio is light on the writing, light on the social righteousness and light on the eyes. In short, it’s vaporwave.

The art is where the love is. Here finally is a cartoon that recognizes that this is a visual art, not a puppet theater for frustrated pamphleteers.  From the mock 1930s Monaco Grand Prix posters, to the beautiful art deco renderings of the Chrysler Building, to the pink and blue nostalgia vaporwave skies of Neo Yokio, this is a clever pastiche and a clin d’oeil to art history.

Neo Yokio’s absurdist retro futurism, the foppish cocktail parties, the mecha butler, the designer label name calling and the giant toblerones give the whole thing the feeling of an 1980s cocaine and vodka hangover that is just delightful.

 I love it. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Beau Tardy/ 
www.tardyartist.com

Neo Yokio is a Netflix original production.

Created by Ezra Koenig
Written by Ezra Koenig
Nick Weidenfeld
Alexander Benaim
Directed by Kazuhiro Furuhashi
Junji Nishimura
Creative director(s) Ben Jones
Production
Executive producer(s) Ezra Koenig
Nick Weidenfeld
Hend Baghdady
Angela Petrella
Producer(s) Matthew Chadwick
Andrew Chittenden
Kris Wood
Running time 22 minutes
Production company(s) Studio Deen
Production I.G.
MOI Animation
Infinite Elegance, LLC
Friends Night
Distributor Netflix
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New Jazzy Burn’s Album • TV*5 tévé-cinque!

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TMNT **1/2

The Turtles were originally made into TV cartoons to sell toys, which is a very effective strategy often used by the Pop Culture Illuminati to bore into kids brains. G.I. Joe and Transformers are other glaring examples of this. Though the TMNT franchise started out as a bona fide indie comic book success story – basically created on a kitchen table by Eastman and Laird back in the ’80s – it only reached Pop Culture icon status as part of a well-orchestrated toy merchandising campaign. As a result, TMNT is another summer toy movie that can’t decide if it’s animated or live action.

The 3d looks 2d. Tedious digital rack focus and fake lens flares are tacked on in a desperate attempt to impart style to Lula Carvalhos’ hackneyed cinematography. The arch villain Shredder comes off as something out of Power Rangers. Basically someone in a suit stomping around a miniature set, like the old Ultraman. The Turtles’ characterization doesn’t help to give them personality either and they can only be told apart by the color of their bandanas.
Megan Fox as the only standout provides tame sex appeal. This is paradoxically a good role for her and jives well with her Transformers past. Her crossing of the desert must be over as Michael Bay and the Hollywood bigwigs have re-evaluated her box office draw despite the 5 or so last bombs she did (Jonah Hex anyone?) It’s too bad Minae Noji as Kari doesn’t quite come off as the hot villainess. Poor costume design hid rather than highlighted her assets. The rest of the cast is forgettable. (Is Whoopie Goldberg secretly one of the turtles?)
Sophomoric humor, great for 9 year olds or mentally equivalent adults.
The opening titles are the best part of this 101-minute toy commercial.
Review by Mike Hammer
Director: Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath Of The Titans, Battle Los Angeles)
Written by: Josh Appelbaum & Andre Nemec (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Alias TV show)
TMNT originally created by: Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman
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